Sylvester. The second time without you. What sounds like the continuation of a sad story is almost a tradition. We met at the end of October 2020. We spent New Year’s Eve 2020 separately – wasn’t sure yet that we would celebrate together and after all, each of us also had an obligation to our respective friends. I also had to go back to work, being an escort girl is quite a demanding job.
Somewhere between this turn of the year and the past, we’ve gone beyond “I don’t know yet.”
Now, New Year’s Eve 2021: Somewhere between this turn of the year and the past, we’ve become more than “I don’t know yet”. More than “I like you, but…”. More precisely, we have become a couple, we, a “the new year with you”. Like New Year’s Eve 2020, I’ll be spending New Year’s Eve 2021 without you, but unlike the year before, despite almost 1,000 kilometers separating us, I feel your arms around my shoulders. your hand in mine your backing behind me Your love for me and my love for you.
Even last year, when everything was still uncertain, you were somehow my rock in the surf. No matter how afraid I was that you would be flooded – you were still there. You’re there. This whole year, whatever it was, you were by my side. You caught me, built me up, supported me. A full year with you – and I couldn’t ask for anything better. You are my anchor, my home. You helped me a lot when I first started working with this Escort Agency!
I want you to continue to be by my side.
My New Year’s wish is simple: I want you to continue to be by my side. You were my lot for 2021 and you are my lot for 2022.
2022 baby! I start with a clear head and am motivated into the new chapter, into the new year. Not because I wrote a bucket list or have resolutions, no. I’ve learned so much and found out things about myself. I want to write new stories and capture images. Save more memories. Experience some more shenanigans. Life. And be the free spirit that I am.
But after this year, I feel I’m more ready than ever. Ready to stop walking alone through world history and these strange times.
I realized with a bang that it wasn’t me. I had created this wonderfully comforting bubble around me. I guess I still had to collect all for myself. The next chapter I’m ready to share. Not just my bed anymore. Much more. My moments, my fears, my hopes, my plans. And I will be willing to compromise. I will keep my eyes open. I will interpret signals. I will open my arms And above all the heart. My heart is ready.
I will keep my eyes open. I will interpret signals. I will open my arms And above all the heart. My heart is ready.
I write about being alone, but it wasn’t me. At least I wasn’t lonely. I had many new acquaintances, different characters around me, and togetherness. I am thankful for every single soul. No matter how our anecdotes started or ended. I didn’t know what I was looking for. I only found myself. I showed my facets with one or the other, occasionally letting my inner self flash. But I didn’t welcome anyone. I opened my apartment door a few times. But not my world.
Practice makes perfect
And yet I practiced. I tested what it would be like to no longer always paint my commemorative works for myself alone. I needed this exercise, otherwise, I would never be ready. I’m ready to be close to me. take me as I am my heart breaks I open myself – for everything that may come. I don’t know who this one – not better, but equal – half will be. But I have gained certainty that I have desires. And that’s perfectly okay. Ready for anything. Finally again.
I want to write to the one I think has a good chance of meeting now. Not for fate, but for my own sake. Ready for anything. Finally again. Dear stranger, I know you’re out there somewhere. I don’t know where or when we will meet. What circumstances will lead to us finding each other? However, I know that when I feel it is you, I will welcome you. That I know I’ll give you the chance to get to know me. I don’t know how long our journey will take, but I’m sure it will be an intimate and adventurous one.
I want to dance with you no matter where. Whenever we feel like it. I want us to sing along to the same songs and speak the same language. It doesn’t have to be my Westphalian snack. I want everyone to be able to look in their direction, but we look in one direction together.
My heart would skip a beat when yours beat for carrot stew.
My heart would skip a beat when yours beat for carrot stew. And Billie Holiday. And long walks through this beautiful city.
I want to travel with you. Not all over the world. Maybe explore your own country first. And before we do that, I wish we would practice driving a little together. Without an eye roll when I stall the car. For the umpteenth time. I’m pretty good at driving. Maybe we’ll end up in the rustic wine village in the west.
I wish that we don’t want to present ourselves. That we accept each other’s friends and family, but at least as much insist that they also accept you and me. The US. That we don’t appear as a dream couple but as a team. Not always in one and the same place, but that we move.
I want you to know that I occasionally need a lot of air to breathe and space for myself.
I want you to know that I occasionally need a lot of air to breathe and space for myself. But you can be sure that you will always be with me during this time. I like to joke with you and that we get angry. But don’t poke at each other’s weak spots. That we never make accusations but can express wishes.
I wish that we would accept the past but put it aside. That I can tell you all the pranks but you don’t judge. I won’t judge you. I want appreciation to be an important part of our connection. Not just for us, but life. I want you to embrace life. I want to be an inspiration for you. And pretty. Even if I pull a pout when I’m offended. I want to find you beautiful Not because you have a delicate nose, but because I discover quirks that I appreciate about you and that makes you attractive to me.
I want to be your girlfriend, your sidekick, your partner, your lover. You can brood. But laugh a lot. You can be unsure, but don’t despair. You can be grumpy, but not to the end. I wish that we would ride a wave, even if it will never be the Eisbach. I wish to be at eye level, but only figuratively. I want to feel protected even when I don’t need protection. But never patronized.
I want to be your girlfriend, your sidekick, your partner, your lover.
I wish for passion. No picture book romance. I wish for Boaznblues with you and sometimes a little shishi. Authenticity, but also tongue biting. Whenever it is necessary. No swallowing, but a change of perspective. I wish for endorphins that we feel in equal doses. That you don’t celebrate through rose-colored glasses, but because of all the facets that you have to offer. I wish that my gut feeling doesn’t deceive me and that I will really be ready. Don’t get cold feet but wait for you to take my hand to hold her and me.
Dear stranger, I am not waiting for you, but I will receive you when the time comes. Sometimes you just have to knock a little more often and louder for me to understand. So that I know when my assignment is due. I will bet on you And on me. To us. Until then, take good care of yourself. And please keep your eyes open. I’m a little small It would be too bad if we miss each other. Walk past each other without stopping.
Sensitive topics that lead to huge conflicts in the couple. They must be managed with realism and diplomacy
The relational map has changed a lot from 50 or 100 years ago. Women are independent, no longer have to marry in order to survive, and marriage is no longer arranged by the family. I choose who I want to spend my life with, or a part of it, children can raise alone. The marriage certificate is no longer binding in itself, and society no longer puts so much pressure on it.
Therefore, we have married couples, but also couples who live together, they are practically a family, only without documents. And, yes, you can have many unofficial relationships over time in which you decide to share the house. Obviously, conflicts are not lacking, and in this amorous context, some subjects have a higher incendiary potential, especially if we add the shared living space.
In this regard, it is first necessary to point out that people have different or similar sexual needs. It even happened to you or you heard from your friends how one of the partners wanted sex more often than the other, one was willing to experiment, the other was not. Or did you have relationships where sex was great because of the similarity? Even if you have the same style and sexual rhythm, this does not mean that things will always be wonderful in bed. Fatigue, problems, children, unattractive clothes, all, in time, make their mark. It is useful to be aware of this and not to give up the first sign that the flame is flickering shyly.
It is not a solution to bury your sexual life for good, to stay for the sake of children or convenience. Not even to change the partners on the conveyor belt, to have adventures or a stable lover. But to work with your partner to maintain your passion, and if you get involved with someone who has a totally different sexual rhythm than yours, consider whether you can really assume that.
Conflicts over money and children
If not managed properly, these types of conflicts have a serious potential for dissolution. There are frustrations, tensions, more or less obvious forms of revenge, anger, secrets, the tendency to team up and divide children. Needless to say, the little ones are the first victims, then you and the relationship. That is why it is necessary to discuss the rules of spending and managing money, how you see the education of children before moving in together.
The families you come from
Definitely one of the areas where it is necessary to set boundaries. What leads to conflicts? Involving your families in decisions that concern only you, intrusion to the point where they decide how to live your life and your couple. Unannounced visits or assimilation by your parents in the context in which you live with them. So you are no longer an independent cup, but both their children, treating you equally or, most likely, differently. Handling thanks to the services they provide – they help you with the children, in the garden, at the housekeeping, they cook for you, etc.
Conflicts generated by boredom
It is not uncommon for boredom to creep into your relationship. And sometimes it helps you to better value the wonderful things you do together. But don’t give in to boredom and don’t make it a constant relationship. It is scientifically proven that we need something new, the brain is asking for it. So you understand the mechanism and look for ways to bring new and interesting experiences into your life.