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Lack of desire or boredom of penetration?

We often receive couples of men and women who come due to a lack of or low desire. In many cases, this intense desire usually occurs in them, but sometimes in them or both parts of the couple. This does not only happen in relationships between men and women. You can also find it in relationships between men or between women. When we dig a little deeper into what is happening, we often see a similar pattern in some couples and others. Continue reading this blog on the Escort Service Website.

When you’ve been in a relationship for some time, it’s common for the desire we initially feel for the other person to transform. It does not necessarily mean that the willingness goes down, but it usually occurs differently than at the beginning of the relationship. When we start seeing each other with a new person, the erotic desire is generally relatively high. The people we accompany often tell us that touch or a look was enough to start the meetings and that they felt like it all the time. But this usually lasts from a few months to a year or two. When that period passes, the desire becomes somewhat calmer. And in some cases, it gets too low. Our escort girls recommend this article, written by one of us.

When we start a relationship, practically anything we do with the other person on a sexual level is worth it because the desire and arousal are powerful, even if it’s always the same four things. As time goes by, relationships evolve on many levels. On an emotional level, perhaps one begins to live with the other person. On an intimate level, however, we often hope things will not change on a sexual level. And if everything evolves and changes in relationships, why shouldn’t the sexual part also evolve? It makes no sense to think that everything will remain as it was in this area’s beginning.

When asking about the things that worked before, the ones that could work now and the ones that are not working, we tend to come to the same conclusion on many occasions: we keep doing the same thing as before, and it no longer works. The feeling generated by thinking about having sex now is laziness, complying or “resetting the counter” until the next time.

And because? When the desire drops, it can be due to many reasons: stress, tiredness, problems in the relationship, how our partner tries to seduce us, we no longer like it… But if we focus on that feeling of laziness, it is usually associated with an “Ugh, to think about having to do all that now…” “All that” usually refers to getting turned on enough to do A, B and C and end up penetrating and having an orgasm for both people. At the beginning of the relationship, this cost little; now, it is done uphill.

Penetration is undoubtedly the most demanding practice on a sexual level. Both people have a very high point of excitement, so the penis has a complete erection. The vagina is lubricated and dilated enough to receive penetration pleasantly. It is also physically demanding for specific postures, etc. Before, it was easy because the desire turned on quickly, and now it needs a little more time or other types of stimuli.

Also, for many women, penetration can be pleasurable but by itself does not usually give orgasms, as most women orgasm with clitoral stimulation. For some women, penetration is downright dull. The centre of pleasure is located in the clitoris since there are few nerve endings in the vagina. And yet, the “star” practice that is not usually lacking in sexual relations is penetration.

We have sexual relations closely associated with the idea of intercourse, to the point that if there is no penetration, sometimes it is not even considered a sexual relationship at a social level. These ideas are highly mediated by the education we receive and what we see in the media, movies and series. We are told that sexual intercourse is just that: penetration. And I can do the rest of the things just one way to reach that goal.

Nobody tells us that there are other options, practices or games that can be pleasurable in themselves and not a means to reach any goal. Nor do they tell us that for women, pleasure is usually in other places than in the vagina. And many times, we keep repeating for years and years a practice that, for most women, is fine, but it is not what gives us the most pleasure. And that it also needs us to dedicate time to generating a good level of excitement so that it is not unpleasant or painful.

For men, it is also a demanding practice and sometimes the “obligation” of always having to get there when maybe they want more other things can be overwhelming. And the desire goes down. This also happens in relationships between men when everything revolves around the penetration.

In relationships between women, there is usually no boredom of penetration because both parties prefer other practices. If penetration is done, it is because it feels like it and not because it is “what has to be done”. To men, regardless of their orientation, the message that reaches them from a very young age is that you have to insert your penis somewhere to satisfy the other person. And all this is associated, in turn, with ideas of masculinity.

If in our head, having sex is the same as penetrating, we will think that we have to feel like having intercourse all the time. And if we don’t feel like having intercourse all the time, something is wrong, or we don’t feel like it. And it does not have to be that way. We may want to touch the other person’s body, hug us, give us massages, touch or kiss their genitals and much more. We can feel desire and arousal in many ways that may not always include or end in penetration.

Enjoying our sexual relations more often involves devitalizing, that is, removing the focus from penetration as the essential practice or that it always has to be. When we do that, we can explore other possibilities, expand our range of erotic methods and approach relationships differently, without pressure or stress and with no other objective than to enjoy what we do.

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